It's that time of year again

Here I am at 5:04am blogging because I was awaken from my slumber due to an excruciating sinus headache. I had not realized that it is that time of year again when I have to endure what I consider pure agony and try to get as much rest as I possibly can. While some people look forward to this time of year because of the cool, crisp weather I must admit my feelings are completely different. I hate the feeling of wanting to be sleep but just cannot because I am uncomfortable. I think the worse part of it all is that I take every pill known to man and even use a neti pot to give my self some relief and it is never enough. The doctor always tends to diagnose me with a sinus infection but I have said for years that i convinced that it is much worse than that because no one i know has to deal with this other than me. I guess what they say is true...life is just not fair.(smh) I got up this morning at about 4am in pain and can do nothing but sit here and wait for it to subside and continue on with my day as planned.

This is my life and what choice do I have but to sit here and live it. As I continue to watch the clock and see the time tick away I am reminded that I have to get up and get dressed in about 30 minutes. ::sigh:: Today is sure to be a long day full of complete crankiness from me. Beware everyone I come in contact with on this day. Restless chick on the loose :-/

Until next time..SMOOCHES!

Be Still and Know that He is God

So after my last post I have had some of the most interesting conversations... many unplanned about my future. You know, whether it be my career or personal life. Somethings I want to hear and then some i dont and just not ready to deal with. But anyway, from all of the conversations I had pretty much left me with one lesson...I have to trust God to supply needs. That in itself is not the easiest thing in the world. I have to know in my heart that God will be there and not just leave me stranded but you know im human and i get impatient and tend to ask God.."WHEN WHEN WHEN will you answer those specific prayers I have prayed?" And God continues to say in His own way that what it is I keep asking for I am not ready for and just to be patient. Im sure you know how hard this is. Much easier said than done. I find it hard sometimes to continue to have a smile on my face and pretend like I have it all together when I know Im not all that great on the inside, but i mean what else is there to do??? It is what it is and this is my life and I know that all i can do is live it the best way I know how to.

Right now, there are so many things that I want right at this very moment and I am getting completely frustrated with because I am not seeing the results I want to and I can only wonder if this is meant for me BUT a good friend told me this weekend that I can only be me and take these kinds of things slow. God, I hear you talking to me and using others to get the message to me. Im working on my patience.

And this was another night that I needed to vent somehow...

Until next time....SMOOCHES!!

Lack of Consistency

I wake up some days and I love my life. I wake up on other days and I am like what am I doing here and is this what I am here to do. I see so many people being successful and then i look at me and im like "Forreal Elece! Is this really where you are allowing your life to go right now?" I recall a time in my life when I was so vibrant and each day I was looking forward to the next and now i wake some days and im like I have absolutely nothing to do. I mean please done get me wrong cause i love being in a quiet place enjoying me but when you start adding other people its another story. Idk its really wierd cause im so wishy washy...

I have my moments when I feel so lost and empty like im out here all by myself and no one understands me and it hurts sometimes but then on the other hand im like maybe no one is suppose to understand. Lately there has been a slight disconnect with me and people that arer closest to me and i do think that I cant really let it all out because thats not what people expect from me. UGH! It just gets frustrating. Idk. I have never felt like this for more than a week at a time. Like I said, there is just a lack of consistency in my life in general and it being a year since i graduated i dont see much change in my life. There is some but not much.

Anyway, needed to vent.

In culinary news...im still baking away and im getting more and more business. My website will be up really soon and I am super excited about that. Just keep me and my business in your prayers. I think Im done for the night.

Until next time...SMOOCHES!